You’ve got a development conversation coming up. Maybe it’s a performance review. Maybe it’s the start of a mentoring relationship. Either way, someone’s going to ask you what your goals are.
And the answer usually sounds like: “I want to get promoted”, “I want to be more confident”, or event “I’m still figuring it out”. None of these are bad answers, but none of them are goals. They’re starting points. A goal is something you can act on.
The same person who says they want a promotion is far more likely to make progress when their goal becomes something like: “I’ll set up a monthly check-in with my manager and ask for one opportunity to stretch my skills or increase my visibility.”
That’s the difference between something you can say in a conversation, and something you can actually do. And this is where development conversations often fall down. We stop too early. We accept the first answer and move on, rather than doing the work to turn it into something real.
Which is why the same conversations repeat themselves. Same goals, same gaps, same vague sense that things will somehow shift. Part of the reason is that vague goals are socially safe. Saying “I want to progress” or “I want to develop” is easy to agree on. It fits neatly into a performance conversation, without challenging anyone. It doesn’t require clarity.
And in many organisations, there’s also a subtle pressure shaping the conversation. Promotion is the default narrative. Progress is assumed to mean up. Managers often steer towards that path because it feels like the most recognisable form of development, even when it’s not what the person wants.
Over time, people learn to optimise for the conversation, not the outcome. They say what fits and agree to what sounds like the right thing. And then nothing really changes.
A better conversation sounds different. It means pushing past your first answer and asking: What does that look like in practice? What would I need to do, consistently, to move toward it? What am I willing to act on in the next few weeks?
If you can’t answer that, you’re still at the starting point.
For leaders, it means resisting the urge to steer too quickly. What do you actually want? What would progress look like over the next 30 days? And just as importantly, what might progress look like that isn’t upward?
Not everyone wants the same path. Not everyone wants to move up. Some people want to go deeper, not broader.
A goal that isn’t genuinely yours will always feel harder than it should. Goals don’t need to be perfect. But they do need to be clear enough that you can act on them and grounded enough that you care about them.
Once that’s in place, progress tends to follow.
